The National Cynical Network beckons you!

My good online friend Phineas Narco will be broadcasting tonight (he does so regularly!) an especially tasty show called "Audiorotica"; I have previewed bits of it and am completely sure that you'll enjoy it as much as I will! Questions on tuning in? Drop me a line and I'll try to help you out if I can!

How goes, peeps?

I'll TELL you how it goes here: unable to get to fucking sleep! I had an incredibly nasty migraine earlier which has fortunately passed, but my sinuses are screaming at me that they just might decide to exert enough pressure to induce another one at any moment. To tell you the truth, I'm not sure that I give two shits (so long as I am able to crawl in to work in the morning, that is). I am very good right now both physically and emotionally, and I dare anyone or anything to wrench the positive feelings from me. I know I owe a few friends phone calls, and I'll gladly get around to it over the next few days. In the meantime, peace out, and may you all find the loves of your lives. :-)

I Walk The Line

Hell fuckin' YEAH I love this song, and I was listening to it earlier in the evening during a very special phone conversation with P.; of course, I'm sure that some people may be pissed off to hear that, but I am in a unique place right now which doesn't require that I mind who I do or do not piss off. Does that make me bad? Hell no, it simply makes me REAL. (Johnny Cash) I keep a close watch on this heart of mine I keep my eyes wide open all the time I keep the ends out for the tie that binds Because you're mine, I walk the line I find it very, very easy to be true I find myself alone when each day is through Yes, I'll admit that I'm a fool for you Because you're mine, I walk the line As sure as night is dark and day is light I keep you on my mind both day and night And happiness I've known proves that it's right Because you're mine, I walk the line You've got a way to keep me on your side You give me cause for love that I can't hide For you I know I'd even try to turn the tide Because you're mine, I walk the line I keep a close watch on this heart of mine I keep my eyes wide open all the time I keep the ends out for the tie that binds Because you're mine, I walk the line

Happy Birthday to me!!!

Indeed, I turned 37 yesterday at 2:15pm CDT...take care all, and I'll post again later! :-)

Wicked Game

(Chris Isaak) The world was on fire and no one could save me but you. It's strange what desire will make foolish people do. I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you. And I never dreamed that I knew somebody like you. No, I don't want to fall in love. (This world is only gonna break your heart) No, I don't want to fall in love. (This world is only gonna break your heart) With you. With you. (This world is only gonna break your heart) What a wicked game to play, to make me feel this way. What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you. What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way. What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you and, I want to fall in love. (This world is only gonna break your heart) No, I want to fall in love. (This world is only gonna break your heart) With you. The world was on fire and no one could save me but you. It's strange what desire will make foolish people do. I never dreamed that I'd love somebody like you. And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you no, No, I want to fall in love. (This world is only gonna break your heart) No, I want to fall in love. (This world is only gonna break your heart) With you. (This world is only gonna break your heart) With you. (This world is only gonna break your heart) No, I... (This world is only gonna break your heart) (This world is only gonna break your heart) Nobody loves no one.

Confused and amused

Hey people. I'm currently pulling a Dick Cheney and posting from an "undisclosed location" to get out of the office for a few days of rest, yet I'm exhausted and cannot get to sleep for anything due to having too much on my mind at present. I HAD planned on posting something rather witty regarding the aria "Questa o quella" from the opera Rigoletto, but that urge seems to have dissipated for now. Instead, I'm sitting here listening to Meredith Brooks sing "What Would Happen" (you can find the lyrics here, should you care to) and nursing a rather hefty dose of self pity...for reasons slightly beyond my ability to fully comprehend at present. Heh, in a way I find this all quite funny: my life is anything but dull, and I should simply take satisfaction in knowing that.

Excessive caffeine and Abilify simply do NOT mix

As all of you are aware, I take the atypical antipsychotic Abilify; as some of you are additionally aware, I am an extreme aficionado of VERY strong coffee. After the events of yesterday, however, I am well on my way to tempering that habit! I typically consume 4 large cups of stout coffee in any given day: 2 before I go to work, and 2 upon arrival. However, as I didn't get much sleep on Sunday night, I was inspired to take an extra 3 cups on Monday afternoon when our new secretary brewed a beautiful pot and offered me some. Uh, in how many ways can I say mistake?!? Within half an hour of the last cup, I started feeling warm, hyper, anxious, and paranoid simultaneously...and only then did I recall that, duh, I have had issues with caffeine in the past (though they only occurred on lower quantities and when I was taking the dreadful med Topamax), and never before had I imbibed this much strong coffee while on Abilify. I continued to descend into an even crappier state of existence up until the point that I decided to just go home and chill out, at which point "the real fun" began: in a nutshell, I'll simply state that seeing and hearing things which aren't there does not make for fun driving circumstances. Upon arriving home, I called my boss and told him what was up; as I assumed, he was beyond cool and merely wanted to know what he could do to help me. I then proceeded to speak with a few friends, one of whom offered the excellent suggestion of doubling up on my Abilify for the evening in order to calm down. I subsequently slept like a fucking baby, and it was bliss. I am, however, still trying to sort through the odd motif of the movie "Bandits" toying constantly with my head since last night. Now THAT is just fucked up.

Nine Inch Nails: "The Slip" available for free download

Indeed, the latest Nine Inch Nails album has been released today freely over the internet! Head on over to nin.com to get your copy!

Here to stay ;-)

Okay, so I've been somewhat surprised over the past few days by comments and such (among other things), but you know what? I'm here to stay, baby, like it or not. As many of you well know, I have always enjoyed blogging over the more than 3 years that "Weird Cake" has existed, and I see absolutely no need to shut things down simply out of frustration over what others may have said in response to anything I have posted about my personal life or feelings. I must admit that a comment truly annoying me at the moment involved the following one (which was posted anonymously): "Feelings can be beautiful and hateful at the same time. Be sure if you are in love, the other person is in love with you not the fact you make a hell of a lot more money than he does! Sometimes to the other person love looks like a dollar sign!" Uh...can you see why this might be bothering me a slight bit? Obviously this individual knows me well enough to have taken note of my paycheck yet did NOT have the nerve to even post with their name. This is aggravating more so than frustrating, and I'm not quite sure how to address it (especially since I cannot say with 100% certainty who it is anyway, though I have my strong suspicions and will be beyond disappointed if I find out for sure that it is him). If you want to talk about something, shoot me an email or pick up the phone and give me a call...trust me, I have held discussions via both forms of communication with several dismayed people since writing the post in question. Do I regret having posted to begin with? That is a slightly tricky question that I can only answer honestly with a quick NO. Seriously, I have always been open and random yet nothing but sincere in this Blogger space of mine, and I see no reason to begin censoring myself now. To do so would be to sacrifice everything that I stand for...and, in short, is simply not going to happen. Not in this lifetime at least! Okay, end of rant. ;-) I think I might take a brief nap shortly and then get on with my day; yes, it is obviously early (nearly 4:30am!), but I fell asleep around 8:30pm while watching a movie and didn't wake up until 2:00am, so I'm fairly good to go. I'm rather excited about work this week, as we're going to revamp our focus somewhat in the morning (lab meeting at 8:00am), and I look forward to the role that I will be playing over the next several weeks in teaching some techniques that I know well to my coworkers.

The blog

Have I fucked up things lately or what? I am contemplating taking the blog into oblivion; I'm not sure entirely why. *Hugs* K.

Oh boy...

...just how wise (or obviously not the case) was my most recent blog post? Fuck it: y'all who are accustomed to the posts on here over the years understand how I can be and seek no explanations; the rest of you are left to wonder.

Feeling (all at the same time):

Inebriated. Exhilarated. Frustrated. Loved. (Perhaps?) in love. Write me comments, I need them right about now and will answer ALL of them.

Congrats are in order!!!

My dear longtime friend E.J. is once again with child, and I bring you an early photograph right now...meet the second little boy that will be entering her and K.'s lives later on this year!

My home away from home :-)

Yup, the mess you see below is my extremely cluttered (but quite productive thus far) bit of bench space in the lab.

Sunday work

So here I sit at my office, waiting for some peripheral blood mononuclear cells to pulse with peptides before I begin the next phase of the experiment. Considering that this will be a long day, I'm thinking about cutting out of here early tomorrow...sound like a plan?

SO fucking busy!

Indeed I have slacked off on posting yet again, please forgive me for the oversight. Things have been oh-so-busy yet in a totally wonderful way at work, and I'm beyond pleased to announce that the feelings I formerly had in New Mexico of wanting to just throw in the towel and not pursue research as a career at all have entirely dissipated: when it comes down to it, I'm completely a scientist at heart, but the bullshit that goes along with a career in academia is simply not for me in the least. Working in biotech now has made me happier than I've ever been as a researcher, and I hope to pursue work in this manner for many years to come. Hell, I even sacrificed what was to have been a day off yesterday to squeeze in an experiment simply because I wanted to get it done and see the results. Love my job? Saying so might be an understatement. :-) Today, however, I have nothing major on my plate except for some grocery shopping, tidying up the apartment a bit (it's a HELLACIOUS mess, and there's no way I can get it all done in a day, so incremental steps may be the answer), laundry...and dealing with hair dye. The latter is not going to be a fun task in the least though, because I have been putting it off for so damn long that my hair has grown out at least an inch since the last time I coloured it. Yeah, you get the idea: bright red hair with brown and white roots showing is not a pretty sight in the least. Any volunteers to come and help me out with the task?

Late night/early morning randomness

Yup indeed, I brought one of the roses home with me and am enjoying its fragrance as I type this...isn't it just OH SO PRETTY?!? I left the rest of them at work to enjoy there (big work weekend coming up anyway), and I actually spend the majority of my time either working or sleeping, so it makes perfect sense, in some admittedly twisted way. ;-) A few hours ago, I got the notion into my head to travel off in search of some hearty breakfast food and thus headed straight for IHOP. The crowd consisted of primarily folks older than me until about half an hour into my visit, at which point every adolescent in the city seemed to have infiltrated the place, but not like this development mattered to me in the least: as a veteran "people watcher", it merely livened up the scene. I was seated at a small table next to a booth hosting 6 young teens, 3 girls and 3 guys. They had been there for quite awhile before I arrived and were headed out not long after my food (an oh-so-yummy Big Bacon Omelette) arrived. Though I thought all of the kids had left, I was quite startled when one of the young women suddenly appeared at my side and very politely asked if she could "pray for me". Uh...okay...THIS was decidedly odd, but she seemed so nice and sincere as she looked into my eyes and asked whether there was anything specific she could pray for me about. I replied that there wasn't but thanked her from my heart for the kind thought. To be perfectly honest, I didn't think much more of the encounter with the girl or even the group of teens that she was with until I was hit with yet another surprise: when the waitress brought me my check, she said that it had already been paid by the young woman's boyfriend on their way out, yet they didn't say why he chose to do so. The kindness of strangers is not something that you see much of anymore; this post and my most sincere thanks go out to those kids sitting next to me in the wee hours at IHOP this morning. You bring hope for future generations, which is not something I can say for the majority of people I run across.